May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize