The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
