So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
