it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
