He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
