So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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