there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
