You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Found your dick twin last night
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
