At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
