I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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