Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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