I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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