Please, let me fuck your mom
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
