I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
