she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
