Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
