Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
