i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
cat food counts as protein by the way
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
