I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
