is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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