It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
