is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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