I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
