I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
