talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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