Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
