I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
