We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize