i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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