My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
