As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
