Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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