who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
should my penis look like a turkey
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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