some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
