Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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