If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
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Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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