Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
