New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
