Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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