I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
