But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
