What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
