He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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