So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
God I need to hump something, right now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
