and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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