I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
