I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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