oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize