So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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