ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
