My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
