I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
