I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
