Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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