I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize