Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
