erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
