A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize