You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
