3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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